Month: April 2020

The Little Things

I have 2 great nieces; a 3 yer-old and 1 who is almost 1 year. I can’t begin to explain the scrumptiousness of each and both. I just want to squeeze and or eat them up. There are a few things that prevent me from doing so – 1. (and the most obvious) I don’t eat humans, and 2. SANDY WEIL. NO, Not him Sandy Weil. This Sandy was a childhood friend of my mom. Crazy as a loon, but soooooo funny – we thought! Sandy always threatened to eat us up when we were kids – because we were so damned precious. Her words not ours. I don’t really remember it, but my brother Neil does. He said she used to bite us on the cheek every time she saw us, just ’cause we were “soooooo cute or precious or whatever she felt like saying.” Neil used to say she bit so hard she drew blood. Again, I don’t remember it, but I would never want my great nieces to have that as what their memory of me. Neil is over 60 and I believe he still winces at the thought of Sandy coming in for a piece of flesh. It seems like such a little thing – but those lttle things are the ones that seem to stick with you. I am sure Sandy never thought she would be remembered as a Vampire of sorts.

My grand neices, on the other hand, give me so many little things to make me smile – I can neverget enough. Take the other day, I got a Facetime call from Emma – the older one (and yes my niece actually made the call for her) – as the screen opened – sheer joy, excitement exploded out of her -spellinig it out phonetically is the only way to emphasize and illustrate the correct amount of cuteness that occured. “EEEE AUNT CAAWOOL AUNT CAWOOL AUNT CAWOOOL THESE AHR MY GIWAFFES BINGO AND GERRY. AUNT CAWOOOL AUNT CAWOOOL. From there it was just all nuggets of Nirvana – listening to that voice, seeing that smile, hearing that joy, I was transported and all was right with the world. Then, as if it wasn’t already goood enough, out of the corner of the screen I see a snail; arms and legs pull together, and a big bump, then arms and legs seperate and I see Hannah flat out. The little one moving with choreographed crunches and plops. Her face aglow with pride and joy as she completes the next part of the dance. Then, with what appears as perfectly planned timing she turns to the FaceTime and goos, googles, smiles, and blllllphs in my direction – and my world has become even that more joyous. The Bllllphs did it — she stared right at me and blllllphed. These two — they are geniouses — and so cute I just want to……well you know the rest of that sounds like. But more importantly – these little things can make my day – seem COVID FREE!!!! And that is really saying soething…well BIG!

I know COVID is all encompossaing. Every show, commercial, meme, fundraising effort, zoom call, business email, salutation reminds us all of that. It is hard for so many of us to combat these messages, and it may be making some of us a little harsh sometimes. Even I have had the occassional snap at you response lately. I almost always have a twinge of guilt right after – which makes it worse. But luckily I can usually pull myself back to a place where I can, once again, enjoy the little things in a Big Way.

Today my day was filled with both, little things of joy and that other side of the coin. But for now let’s only focus on the little side. My day started at 6:25 a.m.. I set my alarm so I could watch my sister-in-law do what she does best, Show ’em how business is done! It is such an amazing sensation to watch as her mind perculate and generate business ideas and platforms with”master-classes” in brilliance; and then watch that same mind turn to my great-nieces (her grandbabies of course) but this is my story so my relationship trumps hers at the moment — oh forgive the term trumps…I meant it’s all about me – oh wait thats the same thing as trump. Okay, definitely a little less of that…so let’s get back to her. She can lead the charge one minute and then scoop up these two precious gems and play play-doh and hopscotch and How Big is Hanah the next. She, too, can see the importance of the Little Things. Maybe she can even appreciate it more because she lives in such a Big world.

After watching her I came downstairs, I am not usually up and alert by 8 a.m. these days. The chemo and immunotherapy drugs I am on are commulative. Meaning the longer I am on them the more difficult the side effects become; and the more tired I feel even on days when I am feelign good. This past weekend was one of the hardest weekends I have had in any ofthe 3 cancers I have indured over the 40 years since my first cancer. Today a friend asked what is it like – when i don’t feel well. Explaining was hard These drugs make me feel small and weak -it is like having an spine wincing reaction to nails on a chalk board for 72 straight hours (no sleep, no breaks, no relief). Knowing that 72 hours has been the max it has lasted, is your goal to get to. You cope, you fidget, you deal with and wait for the “veil to lift.” And when it does….yes it is a little thing at first and then it builds and that little thing is HUGE!!!! So when I was awake and alert at 6:25 after a great nights sleep — I was ready for my happy dance – and a good LARGE cup of coffee….! I may be awake, but ever so slightly brain dead until that java hits the bloodstream.

As I sat with both hands clutching around my coffee mug, I watched a story on the Today Show about a 27 year old girl who, in February, was disagnosed with Medastatic Cancer (I think they said brain but it may have been breast – again my coffee was just beginning to hit the blood stream). What was extra ordianry about this girl (well alot was extraordinary) is that after a few cycles she was taking a break becasue of COVID and went home to her family in Ga. (She was having treatment in NY). She contracted COVID. Luckily, she recovered (I believe they said it took a month) and she arrived back in NY and is heading back to treatment. I know some may look and say oh this poor girl. But during the interview I looked right at her on the TV and I saw it. It is hard to spot, but damn if it wasn’t right there staring at me – that little thing – it was in her eye, sparkling ever so subtly — I saw it, I felt it, and even though I know I have it, I wanted more of it…..That crazy little thing called…..HOPE. That look that little sparkly said volumes. and I am now her biggest cheerleader (and instagram follwer)>

I don’t ever have a theme when I start writing my posts. I sit and my fingers decide where they want to go. Have I ever scratched or deleted a post – maybe one or two. Should I have deleted more (out of the 200 some odd that I have written – DEFINITELY) but what I write I believe. Today my fingers wantto tell you that yesterday, my nephew Cody, told me he felt I was inspiring. No one else knows this. Seems like a little thing but I can’t tell you how it touched me. I find it funny that people feel I am inspiring — I just assume people would think I am unlucky (becasue of my health history). And that taking in praise or a compliment is not in my DNA (the 1st cancer treatment definitely got rid of that years ago – but that is my own schtick and I get that). But for Cody to say it out of nowhere was really special. He is a great young man, whole loves my niece and their two girls with every muscle and tendon in his being. He has a great heart and keen desire to learn from past experiences in order to create an atmosphere of joy for his family and future. I watch Lizzy and he enjoy the little things and the little ones together – And I watch watch them share that joy and love with my twins. Who goto school right near where thye live. To watch them all together is special and life long. The little ones love their Big Cuzzins’ — an enormous gift for all!

Family is not a little thing – it is a Massive thing. I am blessed that on both sides Scott, Matt, Alissa and I are surrounded by a loving, caring, FUNNY and crazy (in a good way) group. Not being able to be with them now is, for me, the worst part of this whole COVID pandemic. While it has robbed so many of us of so much — I’ll be damned if I will let it be a petty thief and still the little things — becasue those little things are colossally important to me.

That’s my little bit of advice for the day! Make it a tremendous one!

Carol @funnycancermom

How did I get here – again?

I know I face an uphill battle – but surrounded by love of family and friends I will fight, laugh, kick, scream and dance my way through – Again!

Let me restart from the beginning! Many will remember that in 1982 I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Disease. I was 20 – a Sr. in College . The treatment I was given had some unwelcome side affects – though most didn’t appear for almost 20 years. And, frankly, I was happy that I survived and never really thought about these side affects until they began popping up. But I wasn’t until 30 years later I was diagnosed with my 2nd type of cancer. This time it was Breast Cancer. I was told tat it was a potential side affect, but I had been fine for so long – I thought I had beaten the odds. After 6 months of chemo, I was confident that I had beat that as well. Which, for all intents and purposes, I had!

Now, 11 years later I have been diagnosed with Lung Cancer. And again, they can almost definitely trace it back to the original treatment I had in 1982. I know some would be furious or outraged or angry – but that’s just not me. Like with the last 2 I have every intention of fighting this with the same kind of positive, open, direct and humorous attitude that I used the last time! But since that one only kept me healthy for 11 years — I will have to work 3 times harder for it to last for at least 30 more years. I am willing – So for those that followed me before or to my new followers let me give you a recap of how the last 2 months unfolded…..

So, I January I had the weirdest kind of exhale/cough combo. Almost unnoticeable to anyone else. I actually felt annoyed by how ridiculous of an affect I thought it was. But, after 2 cancers I am pretty attune to my body and, well, I kind of knew something wasn’t right. So I called my Dr. and set up an appointment — At first glance, I looked and felt (for the most part) fine. So I was given an inhaler for a week or so. It just so happened I had my annual physical scheduled for 2 weeks from that point. But the Nurse Practitioner said if it isn’t better in a week, call.

Needless to say I called. I went for a chest x-ray, they thought maybe it was walking pneumonia. To double check they sent me for a CT Scan – with contrast. Once they mentioned that – I knew where I was headed – sort of. So I need to digress for a second and talk about my Dr. He is about my age – and I have known him for almost 20 years. He is funny and unflappable. He was also my parents Dr. So we really have a history. Two weeks earlier he learned (from my husband) that my Mom had passed away 6 months before (she was living in Florida at the time). So on this day, I decided to great him with the outcome before he could tell me. He walked into the room where my husband and I were waiting – and I blurted out “So tell me am I going to meet my mother soon?” I totally shocked him – I knew and I knew he knew that I was not going to be coddled. I want to know what I am fighting — that way I can prepare myself for battle totally and appropriately. Anyway, the next series of events was quite the rollercoaster.

The scans showed a mass dead in the center of my mediastinum – my chest cavity. The immediate diagnosis was Thymic Cancer and it was a pretty severe diagnosis. I read about it – and never lost hope but the reading wasn’t so great. But I continued to look for the hope. When the biopsy results came back my Oncologist – Sarah Sadan – said – “you are an enigma” . While everything about your disease points one way – your test results point another. It turns out I have typical Lung Cancer. Instead of the mass growing inward into my lung (like most do) mine grew outward from the lung wall into the chest cavity. The positives here are many. They have made many strides in treating lung cancer’s – new therapies, new drugs, which gives me new hopes for a cure. Lung Cancer is not a walk in the park but it is better than what was first thought – and with all of this what isn’t factored in is me.

I am not willing to look at a negative outcome. I have learned that my attitude, my drive, my desire and fight is my Superpower! Today is day one of the new blog, it is day 60 of this battle. Over the next few months please follow along with me — 4 weeks ago at the Oprah 2020 Vision Tour, I learned so much — She gifted us with an affirmation – I CAN, I WILL, WATCH ME – that is my purpose right now! SO all of you WATCH ME! CAUSE I AM HERE FOR THE LONG HAUL!!!!!!!!!

More to follow – xoxo Carol @funnycancermom

Forget Your Troubles, Come On Get Happy!!!!!

Barbra and Judy – need I say anything more

Happy Sunday everyone.

I recently watched the video of Barbra Streisand and Judy Garland singing a mash-up of “Happy Days Are Here Again” and “Forget Your Troubles”. Shocking how incredible and current it is….for so many reasons.  Just listening can bring a smile to my face.  But, the back story is also drenched in sadness. This was at the end of Judy’s career.She was at her most depressed and, unfortunately, almost at the end of her life.  Her ability to muster such greatness while facing such demons is mind-boggling to me.  Though I think many are facing this now during this period of isolation/staying at home.

It is an understatement to say that times are tough for everyone –  and that no two people are handling this pandemic, this stay at home life, this time where so much s unprecedented. But it is for that reason I thought to write a bit about the things that drive me – ways I find to cope with all that is going on in the world and in my life.  Ways that allow me to spend much of my day thinking of relationships, people, family, friends and all of those that put their life on the line every day. I think of them and I feel Love and Kindness towards them.  I want to take action and do something that can be of service for them and others.  I think – what can I do?  What is my purpose in all of this?  Do I have a gift that can I can use to help anyone – even one person, rise above the dreary.

When I was diagnosed with cancer the first time (1982) I spent weeks, maybe months miserable and confused as to “why me.”  It was no help for me.  I didn’t see it then, but I realized it when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2011.  Why?  In 1982 I was strong, but like Judy Garland – much was a facade.  I was a Sr. in college with less than 5 months left till graduation;  I knew that if I left school and came home to NY for treatment, I would never have graduated.  And that decision has changed my life forever – In good, bad and different ways. 

I did learn how to be alone and isolated – since most of my friends (not all), but most, social-distanced me out of there lives.  I was alone, away from my family pretending I was ok.  I wasn’t – but that is on me. The other way that staying in Boston changed my life was the treatment I was given.  In NY they were using Chemotherapy – new and harsh.  In Boston, they were experimenting with different Radiation Therapies including COBALT Radiation – Basically Chernoble/3-Mile Island radiation.  That alone should have scared me away, but I was sticking with staying in Boston. This boiled down to a silly notion that “you are nothing without a college degree.”  A totally shortsighted notion from my Dad (and how he felt about himself).  He was a scion of his industry so, in truth, his lack of schooling meant nothing.  

So why did this period change my life so?  Well in 2011 when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I learned more about my circumstances.  My doctor, Andrew Ashikari, was extremely thorough about genetic testing and my health history and blood testing.  He went through everything with my husband, Scott, and I.  In the end, it seemed almost certain that my disease was caused or a side effect of the COBALT radiation – with no genetic links at all.  So immediately I began to again think Why Me?  But not for long — This time was different.  I had friends, family and an entire community willing to help and support me.  This is where THe Rocks were christened. 🙂 This is where the original The Cancer Made Me Do It. was born.  Somehow I had an epiphany of thoughts.  I realized looking at my past will drag me down, but setting my sights/my vision on the future Pulls me up: It lifts my spirit and gives me my sense of purpose.  The blog was started to tell others they are not alone, they can overcome; they can empower and be empowered.

Then in February of 2020, right before the country came to a halt, I was again diagnosed with cancer.  My new Dr., Sara Sadan, is also a meticulously thorough individual; and after several weeks of testing and metabolic testing on the actual mass in my chest, they too came to the belief that this Cancer is a result of the original COBALT radiation. So again I was faced with a choice.  Be mad, be angry, ask why me – or FIGHT this disease with a smile, a belief in my future, a confidence that my support system will catch me when I slip, an undeniable hope that all will be fine, and an unwavering conviction that I Can and I Will beat these odds as well.  Mind you it would be nice if this conviction would help me win the lottery as well — Just sayin’!  I get that may just be a bit greedy 🙂

So now, like most of you, I am home and isolated with my husband (you get how there is a real yin ad yang about that right?  -‘Nough said on that subject :).  I awake every morning and immediately assess my physical being.  Most days are fine, and some are not – but either way, after my physical assessment I acknowledge my emotional one.  That is my superpower, my gift, and yes, my purpose, because it is, at that moment I find another reason for gratitude, for kindness, for friendship, for family and love.  I contemplate the actions and service I can intersperse in my day.  So even in a time where we are home, we are feeling out of sorts, we are a bit adrift– allow me to offer a line to tether you to something bright and hopeful.   ME.  Because if you think of it that is all any of us has to give – We give of ourselves in whatever way we can.

Though I would be lying if I didn’t admit having limitations to my abilities.  For example – my ability to clean (keep it a secret but it is, in actuality, my desire).  My husband has been cleaning, cooking, walking the dog and other tasks that I am totally capable of – but have chosen to relinquish these activities to him.  It’s a gift to make myself believe that he enjoys folding laundry and cleaning bathrooms –!  I have also may be driving Scott a bit crazy with the shows I binge watch – some of them are toooo embarrassing to even admit to – He keeps he “can’t believe I watch such shows, can’t you see how depressing they are?”  “They aren’t real,” I respond, “But look at the stars they are gorgeous, actually the whole cast is.”  And if I am being honest, this is probably the 5th time I have watched this Friday night football series….win wink….from beginning to end, and I enjoy it every single time.

Everyone has a purpose and a gift – even the cast of Friday Night Lights and Vampire Diaries – there, I named them.  But so do you all….there is an end to all of this, there is a light.  Wake up every day and believe that!  Assess you vision and reach for it!  Soon you will realize that the journey to positivity is no longer because, you have arrived at that place.  Your journey can start today if you want!!!!

I am your cheerleader in this – I know you can, you will –everyone watch and see the transformation….

Have a great day!

Carol A

@funnycancermom

Is My View Askew – Let’s Talk It Through!

For most of us, this week/weekend is marked by a significant religious holiday!  A time to reflect on what has happened and what is to be.  The other day I had cause to do this, not because of the religious aspect, but by a journey my twins are about to make from Tampa to NY.  The trip was causing me some real anxiety and stress- which is crazy since I am not even going to be in the car.  I will just be home hitting refresh on my “Find My Friends” app every 2 minutes for 24 hours straight, but I have said it before – I am just a bit cuckoo when it comes to this kind of stuff.

Anyway, the journey has been planned and my mind as it a “wee” bit at ease – all to thanks of a warm and friendly woman named Percilla West.  She is the manager of the Hamptons Inn in Roanoke Rapids, NC; and she has gone above and beyond to put my mind at ease and offered such great customer service and care that has touched my heart and triggered me to review and view what has been and what will be.  So Percilla – Thank You!  For being you, for taking caring of what is dear to me, and for the Healing Bear you are sending!  May you be surrounded by good – always!

Me and My Mom

This random act of kindness put me on path.  2020 is the toughest year any of us could ever have imagined, and we are all chomping at the bit for it to end already.  For me I believe the end is near, in a good way that is.  These holidays ask us to look back and think of what has been and reflect.  So I began to look back, and I was drawn back to May 27, 2019.  From then to now has not been what I would consider ‘stellar’ in any way.  On this day, my mother – my reason for being and truly the fiber that runs through my body, woke up on the floor of her kitchen.  In a whirlwind 6 weeks, my mother was gone.  Aggressive small cell Lymphoma raced through her body quicker than a Butane soaked fire.  My world seemed to stop! Or stand still at least!  Prior to this, I was pretty sure footed – and now totally adrift unable to find a secure place to land.  If not for my husband, children, brother, sister-in-law, nieces, and close friends – I would probably still be circling adrift somewhere.  But they didn’t allow it.  The grabbed that rope and pulled me in!  That love, that care, that sense of being worthy of others was so fulfilling and sustaining that it brought me back.  Back and able to enjoy, to laugh, to celebrate and to cope. So in looking back for that down and then the UP, I am grateful!

The trend of loss, family injuries, minor fender-benders, emotional ups and downs continued, and culminated with a February 17th diagnosis of Lung Cancer –! And then the COVID pandemic hit. Wow, can you beat this run – I think not!  I guess we all can.  But can you find the positive in it?  Yes, yes I can! In 6-weeks it will be a year since my Mom fell.  So, I have decided – This year is done at 11:59 pm on May 27, 2020.  I have skewed my view of what a year should be – You know, I make things work the way I want them to be!!!!  Damned if you Do or Damned if you don’t – a negative me I just won’t!!!!!!  (Dr. Suess I am not either for that matter).

So back to this week, and why I feel blessed.  I have finished my 2nd chemo.  This one was definitely harder than the first.  The 1st time I had a few days (my cycle of bed days- I call it) of feeling somewhat yucky – all in all no big deal.  This time I was bedraggled, down and really YUCKY for 4 days:  really, really No Bueno!  Then Monday night came around, and the veil began to lift.  You would think I just won a $10,000,000 prize. I didn’t care that I had cancer or the world was fighting off this viral killer.  I was back!  I was ready to be positive, I was ready to find the good in my every day.  To spread positivity in any way I could – even if it is to make fun of my own inability to find a pair of matching socks in my drawer or laundry basket; or laugh at my lack of caring to put on a shirt and pants that aren’t closed by a zipper or a draw string; or, and maybe the funniest of all, my over emphasized joy that the mail has arrived……I mean it is like Steve Martin in “The Jerk” when the new phonebook arrived (I know some of you don’t even know what a phonebook is  or what The Jerk for that matter–oh so sad – it is a classic)….But let me get back to my point – there is good in the world, and even in the every CO-VIDay.  It is harder to find and tougher to look for –

TAKE THE TIME TO LOOK FOR IT – IT’S WORTH IT, I swear…..and if you find my other sock…..well, you know!!!!!

With gratitude, hope and joy!

Carol

@funnycancermom

In Honor of My Rocks!

Webster’s Dictionary defines Rocks as: a solid mineral material forming part of the earth; or a kind of hard confectionary in the form of cylindrical flavored sticks; or a precious stone especially a diamond, and for some reason Websters also has it listed a piece of Crack Cocaine as a Rock – I guess that is commion knowledge — not to me but not all rocks are created equal, I guess. Take mine for example, I have other Rocks – as my family, and I rave about them often….But these girls – They are SPECIAL IN SO MANYY WAYS and I just need to tell you about them! Their is such great beauty and majesty in them just like the header picture — and I want to honor them today!

In not specific order, I starat with My friend Wendy. She and I have been through Cancer together. She and her Husband Doug, have been our friends since 1999. We were neighbors and attached – literally. We lived on opposite ends of the same townhouse Unit. And it has been just a special relationship on so many levels. We have shared such joy, such laughter and sadly some great losses. But we have come through in all 0f them – and now share a bond of great love, friendship caring and laughter. She also kows my oncologist – whois soooo Lovely but has some really funny quirks and wit hWendy we laugh about them., we talk about the stories and she gives me advice on how to deal with her. I can make jokes about things that happen at treatment – and she gets it! And my dog Nelly adores them since Doug (Wendy’s husband) ventured into a Trader Joe’s accross from his office, to get Nelly her favorite Chicken Wrap Bones….and me my favorite frozen spinach pies. Can you say “Savior.” 🙂 Wendall – you are my purple/amethyst rock that I carry with me every day!!

Wendy’s Healing Stones I have keptsince 2010

Next is my friend Jen. She is an abudance of laughter and fun and giggles. We meet because her oldest and my twins made an instantaneous bond the first day of pre-school. Wereven began talking of my son and her daughter’s marriage pretty quickly…They loved being together – day after day. We just did so much together. As the kids played, we talked, we laughed and we discovered new areas we had in common. We took the girls to concerts – the Jonas Berothers was a huge get for our girls…I think we were 5th row center atthe Prudentioal center -loads of “mommy points” for her andI on that one! Jen’s smile and warmth is just so enveloping —I can feel every emotion she feels pass right into me! it’s infectious. Even though now we do that virtually – it still works. And I appreciate so and lover her for it! And I can’t forget to give a shoult out to here husband Rick who aslo make my husband laugh — much needed!!!!!!

The next is a group of 3 that I have know since the very early 1980’s (one since 1979) but these three have seen me go through Cancer 3 times. And they have never faultered. They have always been there – and I don’t mean just physically – I mean emotionally, familiarly,friendshilply (probably not a word but you get what i mean) and now every morning we are together via Marco Polo. We talk abourt the day, the isolation, the Netflix finds we all need to see, the funny meme’s, the online concerts for free, Cooking tips from Lisa, WWHL and Bravo info from Lauren, Seminar and Broadway info from Amy (in California) – Amy is our insomniac — she is usually 1st on on Marco Polo in the Morning and she is three hours behind us! She was the one that starts he Marco Polo every moring with “The Covid Chronicles Day …..” The picture of us on top was from a trip to see the redwoods in California….Lauren couldn’t make it, but that did stop us – we are a team — So we found a way to bring Flat Lauren (inspired by Flat Stanley) She eat and shopped and toured with us everywhere – she even had time alone on the beach….And know they are there for me again. On Moarco Polo encouraging me, keeping me smiling and just being what I need true support – I love you!

Beach Day

The last – and by no means least are Elaine and Amy. They both deserve their own but we are a team – we are a group – we are Rocks for each other. These 2 women can make anything good, they can turn any situation into a positve and they can light up any day – no matter what.
Small gestures, Big funny moments, family meals (and I mean family – sometimes it is all the kids in-laws and kids friends/boyfriends), impromptu runs to Costco, Bed, Bath and Beyond, Stew Lenards, CVS, Walk with dogs, or just a glass of wine — ok lots of wine — these two are all that and more. Amy is also a hero. She is an ER nurse now working in on the frontlines at a Hospital in Yonkers. I can sense the exhaustion, she is plagued with. And I feel for her. She is dedicatied and positive, and funny, and lovely – but this is hard on anyone – so being as dedication as she is – is just incredible. Elaine is also someone to be admired and respected. She is smart, funny, gifted and giving. She has two great sons that are back . Her Mother-in-law is with them as well + 2 dogs Gina and Ginger – who we love – WELL my Nelly finds them annoying, so in a way the social distancing is making Nelly happy. for that matter Nelly isn’t a fan of Sydney either (Amy’s dog) Is it possible Nelly is a Bitch and a Snob. Oy! These two women have been there for me in every need, and unfortunatley their have been to many – the loss of my Dad and Mom, and my Breast Cancer, and other less tragic – But more importantly they have been there for the joy – the graduations, the birthdays, the holidays, outings to concerts, and pool days, and dinners, and food (SO MUCH FOOD), and smiles and laughter — even now through it all they make me laugh – from a safe distance of course. I could not survive with out these two. They are my foundational rocks for sure……I have no wasy to describe my love for them! YOU ROCK! Rocks

I woke up this morning feelig grateful. Times are hard. Everyday they news seems dreary…but the truth is, their is still joy and still happiness out there — It may be harder to find — but you can do it! Don’t look at the negative…that is easy to find – it is a little harder but look for the good, the happy, the hope know move away from the dreary! Their is an end to this, their is a light at the end of this road….collectively we can raise each others spirit through many ways…..I love you all, and I believe in your spirit! Look up, We can! We will! Watch us — Rocks are hard to destroy!!!!!! We are Diamonds – let’s shine collectiviely

Let’s speak soon,

Carol

@funnycancermom