Author: funnycancermom

I am Better not Bitter! I want to laugh not cry! I am not perfect, nor do I want to be! I am The Funny Cancer Mom - If I can laugh through cancer - imagine what else I dan do. Follow, share, comment - I am here to listen and help @funnycancermom.

Is My View Askew – Let’s Talk It Through!

For most of us, this week/weekend is marked by a significant religious holiday!  A time to reflect on what has happened and what is to be.  The other day I had cause to do this, not because of the religious aspect, but by a journey my twins are about to make from Tampa to NY.  The trip was causing me some real anxiety and stress- which is crazy since I am not even going to be in the car.  I will just be home hitting refresh on my “Find My Friends” app every 2 minutes for 24 hours straight, but I have said it before – I am just a bit cuckoo when it comes to this kind of stuff.

Anyway, the journey has been planned and my mind as it a “wee” bit at ease – all to thanks of a warm and friendly woman named Percilla West.  She is the manager of the Hamptons Inn in Roanoke Rapids, NC; and she has gone above and beyond to put my mind at ease and offered such great customer service and care that has touched my heart and triggered me to review and view what has been and what will be.  So Percilla – Thank You!  For being you, for taking caring of what is dear to me, and for the Healing Bear you are sending!  May you be surrounded by good – always!

Me and My Mom

This random act of kindness put me on path.  2020 is the toughest year any of us could ever have imagined, and we are all chomping at the bit for it to end already.  For me I believe the end is near, in a good way that is.  These holidays ask us to look back and think of what has been and reflect.  So I began to look back, and I was drawn back to May 27, 2019.  From then to now has not been what I would consider ‘stellar’ in any way.  On this day, my mother – my reason for being and truly the fiber that runs through my body, woke up on the floor of her kitchen.  In a whirlwind 6 weeks, my mother was gone.  Aggressive small cell Lymphoma raced through her body quicker than a Butane soaked fire.  My world seemed to stop! Or stand still at least!  Prior to this, I was pretty sure footed – and now totally adrift unable to find a secure place to land.  If not for my husband, children, brother, sister-in-law, nieces, and close friends – I would probably still be circling adrift somewhere.  But they didn’t allow it.  The grabbed that rope and pulled me in!  That love, that care, that sense of being worthy of others was so fulfilling and sustaining that it brought me back.  Back and able to enjoy, to laugh, to celebrate and to cope. So in looking back for that down and then the UP, I am grateful!

The trend of loss, family injuries, minor fender-benders, emotional ups and downs continued, and culminated with a February 17th diagnosis of Lung Cancer –! And then the COVID pandemic hit. Wow, can you beat this run – I think not!  I guess we all can.  But can you find the positive in it?  Yes, yes I can! In 6-weeks it will be a year since my Mom fell.  So, I have decided – This year is done at 11:59 pm on May 27, 2020.  I have skewed my view of what a year should be – You know, I make things work the way I want them to be!!!!  Damned if you Do or Damned if you don’t – a negative me I just won’t!!!!!!  (Dr. Suess I am not either for that matter).

So back to this week, and why I feel blessed.  I have finished my 2nd chemo.  This one was definitely harder than the first.  The 1st time I had a few days (my cycle of bed days- I call it) of feeling somewhat yucky – all in all no big deal.  This time I was bedraggled, down and really YUCKY for 4 days:  really, really No Bueno!  Then Monday night came around, and the veil began to lift.  You would think I just won a $10,000,000 prize. I didn’t care that I had cancer or the world was fighting off this viral killer.  I was back!  I was ready to be positive, I was ready to find the good in my every day.  To spread positivity in any way I could – even if it is to make fun of my own inability to find a pair of matching socks in my drawer or laundry basket; or laugh at my lack of caring to put on a shirt and pants that aren’t closed by a zipper or a draw string; or, and maybe the funniest of all, my over emphasized joy that the mail has arrived……I mean it is like Steve Martin in “The Jerk” when the new phonebook arrived (I know some of you don’t even know what a phonebook is  or what The Jerk for that matter–oh so sad – it is a classic)….But let me get back to my point – there is good in the world, and even in the every CO-VIDay.  It is harder to find and tougher to look for –

TAKE THE TIME TO LOOK FOR IT – IT’S WORTH IT, I swear…..and if you find my other sock…..well, you know!!!!!

With gratitude, hope and joy!

Carol

@funnycancermom

In Honor of My Rocks!

Webster’s Dictionary defines Rocks as: a solid mineral material forming part of the earth; or a kind of hard confectionary in the form of cylindrical flavored sticks; or a precious stone especially a diamond, and for some reason Websters also has it listed a piece of Crack Cocaine as a Rock – I guess that is commion knowledge — not to me but not all rocks are created equal, I guess. Take mine for example, I have other Rocks – as my family, and I rave about them often….But these girls – They are SPECIAL IN SO MANYY WAYS and I just need to tell you about them! Their is such great beauty and majesty in them just like the header picture — and I want to honor them today!

In not specific order, I starat with My friend Wendy. She and I have been through Cancer together. She and her Husband Doug, have been our friends since 1999. We were neighbors and attached – literally. We lived on opposite ends of the same townhouse Unit. And it has been just a special relationship on so many levels. We have shared such joy, such laughter and sadly some great losses. But we have come through in all 0f them – and now share a bond of great love, friendship caring and laughter. She also kows my oncologist – whois soooo Lovely but has some really funny quirks and wit hWendy we laugh about them., we talk about the stories and she gives me advice on how to deal with her. I can make jokes about things that happen at treatment – and she gets it! And my dog Nelly adores them since Doug (Wendy’s husband) ventured into a Trader Joe’s accross from his office, to get Nelly her favorite Chicken Wrap Bones….and me my favorite frozen spinach pies. Can you say “Savior.” 🙂 Wendall – you are my purple/amethyst rock that I carry with me every day!!

Wendy’s Healing Stones I have keptsince 2010

Next is my friend Jen. She is an abudance of laughter and fun and giggles. We meet because her oldest and my twins made an instantaneous bond the first day of pre-school. Wereven began talking of my son and her daughter’s marriage pretty quickly…They loved being together – day after day. We just did so much together. As the kids played, we talked, we laughed and we discovered new areas we had in common. We took the girls to concerts – the Jonas Berothers was a huge get for our girls…I think we were 5th row center atthe Prudentioal center -loads of “mommy points” for her andI on that one! Jen’s smile and warmth is just so enveloping —I can feel every emotion she feels pass right into me! it’s infectious. Even though now we do that virtually – it still works. And I appreciate so and lover her for it! And I can’t forget to give a shoult out to here husband Rick who aslo make my husband laugh — much needed!!!!!!

The next is a group of 3 that I have know since the very early 1980’s (one since 1979) but these three have seen me go through Cancer 3 times. And they have never faultered. They have always been there – and I don’t mean just physically – I mean emotionally, familiarly,friendshilply (probably not a word but you get what i mean) and now every morning we are together via Marco Polo. We talk abourt the day, the isolation, the Netflix finds we all need to see, the funny meme’s, the online concerts for free, Cooking tips from Lisa, WWHL and Bravo info from Lauren, Seminar and Broadway info from Amy (in California) – Amy is our insomniac — she is usually 1st on on Marco Polo in the Morning and she is three hours behind us! She was the one that starts he Marco Polo every moring with “The Covid Chronicles Day …..” The picture of us on top was from a trip to see the redwoods in California….Lauren couldn’t make it, but that did stop us – we are a team — So we found a way to bring Flat Lauren (inspired by Flat Stanley) She eat and shopped and toured with us everywhere – she even had time alone on the beach….And know they are there for me again. On Moarco Polo encouraging me, keeping me smiling and just being what I need true support – I love you!

Beach Day

The last – and by no means least are Elaine and Amy. They both deserve their own but we are a team – we are a group – we are Rocks for each other. These 2 women can make anything good, they can turn any situation into a positve and they can light up any day – no matter what.
Small gestures, Big funny moments, family meals (and I mean family – sometimes it is all the kids in-laws and kids friends/boyfriends), impromptu runs to Costco, Bed, Bath and Beyond, Stew Lenards, CVS, Walk with dogs, or just a glass of wine — ok lots of wine — these two are all that and more. Amy is also a hero. She is an ER nurse now working in on the frontlines at a Hospital in Yonkers. I can sense the exhaustion, she is plagued with. And I feel for her. She is dedicatied and positive, and funny, and lovely – but this is hard on anyone – so being as dedication as she is – is just incredible. Elaine is also someone to be admired and respected. She is smart, funny, gifted and giving. She has two great sons that are back . Her Mother-in-law is with them as well + 2 dogs Gina and Ginger – who we love – WELL my Nelly finds them annoying, so in a way the social distancing is making Nelly happy. for that matter Nelly isn’t a fan of Sydney either (Amy’s dog) Is it possible Nelly is a Bitch and a Snob. Oy! These two women have been there for me in every need, and unfortunatley their have been to many – the loss of my Dad and Mom, and my Breast Cancer, and other less tragic – But more importantly they have been there for the joy – the graduations, the birthdays, the holidays, outings to concerts, and pool days, and dinners, and food (SO MUCH FOOD), and smiles and laughter — even now through it all they make me laugh – from a safe distance of course. I could not survive with out these two. They are my foundational rocks for sure……I have no wasy to describe my love for them! YOU ROCK! Rocks

I woke up this morning feelig grateful. Times are hard. Everyday they news seems dreary…but the truth is, their is still joy and still happiness out there — It may be harder to find — but you can do it! Don’t look at the negative…that is easy to find – it is a little harder but look for the good, the happy, the hope know move away from the dreary! Their is an end to this, their is a light at the end of this road….collectively we can raise each others spirit through many ways…..I love you all, and I believe in your spirit! Look up, We can! We will! Watch us — Rocks are hard to destroy!!!!!! We are Diamonds – let’s shine collectiviely

Let’s speak soon,

Carol

@funnycancermom

Cancer & the Coronavirus Chronicles

This is no laughing matter, oooooor is it?  Let me think, cause it’s bad enough we have cancer, now we have to worry about getting Coronavirus.  We I’ll I am here to tell you – YOU ARE NOT ALONE- even though technically we should be.

I live in a suburb of NYC – and I began to self-isolate (work from home) on Thursday of last week.  Our kids are still in Florida – Tampa to be exact – because we think it is still safer for them to be there than it is here.  So, it is just my husband and I; oh and, Nelly the Tibetan Terrier.  (Full Disclosure – she’s my favorite).  For those that have worked from home before, I give you credit – because it doesn’t really play to my skillset – or my ADD – I am working on new ways to sit still long enough to complete 1 email.  Most people sit in a quiet area – away from distractions….I crave them.; distractions that is. Take this morning for example – I stumbled upon a few funny “corona” related posts – so mid email to my boss, I had to stop and send them out to friends.  Why? You may wonder….Above else – keeping sprits up during this crisis is key, it’s kind of what I do.…I always like to make sure everyone else is ok.

Let me share a few things that I saw online that made me laugh:

From a Mom in my town…
When people started hoarding Toilet Paper
Putting a positive spin on being home!

Now, let me get to my kids for a moment.  Matthew and Alissa are the loves of my life – they are also the reason I went gray at 38.  Well that is a total lie, I went gray after I lost my hair the last time I had cancer.  My hair came in a pretty cool silver so I kept it – but for the purpose of this blog – they are the cause!!!!!   As I mentioned they are both in Florida.  They are Juniors at the University of Tampa.  Yes, I have twins.  And double the fun doesn’t really apply in the Coronavirus Era.  More like double the Angst.  Both live in off campus housing; and no, not together because why should they make it easy on their Mother.  Frankly, having them there has both pros and cons. 

I miss them terribly.  In a crisis – I just want to have them close so I can smother them and mother them and most importantly bother them. All skills necessary and required! Does that make me sound like “one of those” mothers. AAAAH, maybe but but I say Nay Nay my friends – I don’t sound like one of them…I am them one of them! – But my kids understand me, and love me, and put up with all my “schtick”. Recently, because they are there and not here, under foot, complaining all day that “they are bored and there is nothing to do,” I miss them even more. Mainly because of my neurotic belief that they wouldn’t take the necessary precautions that my immune compromised status demands.  Six one way half a dozen the other – as my Dad used to say.  I admit that sometimes I think my kids don’t get it….but then my friends (other mothers of 20 year old’s) remind me – It’s not just my kids – Basically – being 20 means that a portion of your brain is dumb and/or idiotic….And just like that I feel a bit better.  See positive spin – The “it’s not my kids it’s all kids” scenario makes me feel better – as a mom and as a shut in cancer patient…..

Now that obsessing about my kids and what they are doing in Florida has taken up a few hours of my Sunday, I will have to focus on what I can do to fill the remaining hours.  We found Boggle in the basement, along with Othello, Scrabble and 5 different 500-piece puzzles.   So, activity wise, I am okay. Then I saw that The Zac Brown Band is giving a free concert Instagram Live at 8pm; At 7 pm Broadway.com has a live show and at 5:30 David Foster and Katherine McPhee have something online.  Afterwards I got a few texts from my friends laughing about what they accomplished today:  One cleaned the drain in her dishwasher and another cleaned out closets and cabinets.  I was inspired.  I am going to be productive. And then I stopped. I thought about it and realized – if I do that today, what will I do tomorrow?

So here is my take away for today:  This has to be the weirdest and scariest time of my generation.  I am somewhat proud by my calm.  (Full disclosure I did have a wee freak out last Thursday). But I guess having Lung Cancer and self-isolating at home I have to choose where to put my energy.  Frankly, I prefer to put it into finding funny things every day.  Finding the one thing or few things that make me laugh.  Finding a reason to say – “Today is going to be a good day” – or as good a day as it can be without leaving the house.  Knowing that this Will Be OK in time!  And believing that even with all the negative – I can and will find something funny that will truly brighten my day and then share it with my friends, family and followers; which will, in turn, brighten their day.

So, I end today’s blog with something I hope will make you smile – I know I do every time I look at her!

Nelly the Tibetan Terrier

Be safe, stay in, breathe deep and smile brightly, and believe that soon Corona will once again be synonymous with really mediocre beer!

Carol. @funnycancermom

And then Oprah said…

First the Virtual meet and greet!

Have you ever noticed that Oprah has become synonymous with “great things”. I can’t even say her name with out an emphasis on every letter — it’s OOOOPRAAAHHHH!. She is OOOOPRAHHHHH! And She truly is a force of positive energy, a beacon of light, and a genuine promoter of purpose, respect, resilience and self-worth. I felt it first hand. Awhile back my sister-in-law asked me if I wanted to come to the Oprah 2020 Vision Tour at the Barclay Center. I said “sure!” not really understanding exactly what it was. I learned Michelle Obama was going to speak and there were going to be a lot of conversations about health and wellness, I was excited. I was able to bring my daughter – Alissa – with me. She is a Jr. in college – studying entrepreneurship, with a focus on the health and wellness area. And, even more, it was a great excuse to have a fun Mommy-Daughter weekend.

We woke at around 6:30 on Saturday February 8, and got ready for the day. Excited, but still unsure of what it would bring — we were both just happy to share this day. This was event was the 3rd in a 9 tour engagement across the country. I had not been watching the news feeds about the prior events because I didn’t want to spoil any surprise that might come along with the day — we wanted to experience it organically… (ohhh how groovy that sounds!). I did get small glimpses from my sister-in-laws feed, as to the crowd capacity and star power involved. She (my sister-in-law Mindy) is the one who gifted Alissa and I these tickets and this access, and just a brief spoiler alert — I couldn’t be more thankful. And it really was a gift of a day.

We arrived at our parking lot at bout 8:35 am — and I must say the open and positive spirit was not being felt by some of the people on line for the lot. The poor attendant was solo and women were screaming at him. “I need you to take my car – I want to see OOOOPRRRAAAH” one woman ranted at the man. Alissa and I just felt awful. We were at the beginning of the line, but just to quell some of the screaming we let a few cars go ahead of us — and then gave the attendant a nice tip – it just felt like it waste right spirit to start the day off with…..Then Alissa and I pranced arm in arm — excited and anticipatory — to the arena. Every step brought more excitement.

As we walked, tickets in hand, the security guards kept directing us to different gates. It was kind of exciting. All of a sudden we arrived at the Diamond Concierge Gate — EWWWWWW Fancy we thought – with glee and a giggle! We wee given bands and big ticket necklaces — we were VIP! Which I knew but didn’t really know what it meant for this kind of event. Alissa and I went in feeling pretty special, and sopped everything up that was going on. We went walking around all the booths – we took pictures with the step and repeat Oprah and weaved through all of the virtual exhibit. We took it all in and really experienced the ever growing excitement from everyone who passed by….The energy was electric — I am not sure I have ever felt anything like it. We moved inside as the day was about to begin. We arrived at our seats and I was ecstatic. I was in a section with many people I knew and loved — more friends of my sister-in-law but also friends of mine. I was thrilled that we would have all these people to share this experience with. This was all keeping my mind off of something that was weighing heavy on me all week and I would not allow to seep in or disturb the day. It was a brilliant distraction.

From the moment the lights went down at 9 am to the moment the went up at 4:00 pm – I held my breathe. I was not expecting to be as enraptured, as emotional, as touched and as moved by what Alissa and I (and 15.000 others) were being drawn into. We were learning, we were experiencing, we were dancing, we were laughing, we were crying and we were transforming individually and communally. I can only classify it as ‘out as other worldly. Oprah spoke and we laughed, Oprah talked and we cried, Oprah regalled us with stories of her life and stories she learned — and we lapped up everything. There were moments (many moments actually) tthat brought to tears to our eyes. WHO WOULD OF THUNK IT TO BE TRUE –! There was Daybreaker (a sober rave group – and please don’t ask me what that means cause I have not a clue) lead by a couple with names like Radha and Brimer – of course. They were awesome. Then there was Julianne Hough and her Kinrgy; Julian English and his meditation moment and others. What a day – It truly primed me – I was ready for what I was about to face in the coming months.

This day couldn’t have come at a more important moment. I am a positive individual. But my week had put some obstacles in fornt of me — Two weeks earlier, I was diangosed with cancer (Lung Cancer to be exact) – and I had been going through tests to determine exactly what type. I knew I had to remain positive, after all this is my 3rd time facing a cancer diagnosis. Scott (my husband) and I hadn’t told anyone anything yet- I wanted to know all of the facts first. During the week I had a biopsy – no results yet but they initially felt I had Thymic Cancer — I knew those odds so POSITIVITY was what I needed. This day, that My incredible sister-in- Law, Mindy, gifted me, was miraculous. I was uplifted and ready to fight — what ever I was about to face – I was energized to do so.

But that wasn’t even the best part of the day. At the end, Those that hadthe band on their wrist were brought to a room – and there in front of me was – none other than OOOOPPPPRAHHHH! Her light and grace so close….I was dumbstruck and happy — elated really. Her aura infectious and my day was made. I was given the opportunity to meet her. She hugged my daughter and I like we were friends for years. She thanked us for coming and asked if I got anything out of it….OOOOPPPRAAAH asked me for my opinion…..OPRAH, said to me, “thank you for coming” OPRAH thanked me….OOOOPPPPPPRRRAH…..I felt more in that day than I can put into words –. Mindy, you are someone I admire, adore and respect and this day has helped me face this battle I embark on now — Thank you….

By the end of the next week, I had talked about that days events over and over. My daughter, who was back in Florida, and I rehashed everything all week as well. The next week when I had to let my family know about my health – I drew from the lessons I had learned, and presented my Lung Cancer Diagnosis with the optimistic flare – I believe to be my path towards beating this diagnosis. My Husband, son and daughter have been incredible, they were able to join me for my first chemo treatment – and they can be with me virtually, going forward if they wish. Corona (not th Beer) fear stops me from bringing in friends when I sit for treatment. — My friends, my support group of women who really are my rocks are unflinching and unwavering in their ability to bolster me up and make me laugh and feel as though nothing is going on. My brother and sister-in-law, who I revere in so many ways, are so hugely supportive and present when I need them, as are my Nieces who really just light up my life in a plethora of ways

But almost as important –My daughter and I met with OPRAH & and I talked with her – So, like I said, “when I was talking to Oprah” I got a sense of what the why she is OOOOPPPPRRAAAAHHH! And Oprah – I heard you – because of you Iknow that ICAN, I WILL, WATCH ME beat cancer – again!!!!!

Reality Meet and Greet

How did I get here – again?

I know I face an uphill battle – but surrounded by love of family and friends I will fight, laugh, kick, scream and dance my way through – Again!

Let me restart from the beginning! Many will remember that in 1982 I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Disease. I was 20 – a Sr. in College . The treatment I was given had some unwelcome side affects – though most didn’t appear for almost 20 years. And, frankly, I was happy that I survived and never really thought about these side affects until they began popping up. But I wasn’t until 30 years later I was diagnosed with my 2nd type of cancer. This time it was Breast Cancer. I was told tat it was a potential side affect, but I had been fine for so long – I thought I had beaten the odds. After 6 months of chemo, I was confident that I had beat that as well. Which, for all intents and purposes, I had!

Now, 11 years later I have been diagnosed with Lung Cancer. And again, they can almost definitely trace it back to the original treatment I had in 1982. I know some would be furious or outraged or angry – but that’s just not me. Like with the last 2 I have every intention of fighting this with the same kind of positive, open, direct and humorous attitude that I used the last time! But since that one only kept me healthy for 11 years — I will have to work 3 times harder for it to last for at least 30 more years. I am willing – So for those that followed me before or to my new followers let me give you a recap of how the last 2 months unfolded…..

So, I January I had the weirdest kind of exhale/cough combo. Almost unnoticeable to anyone else. I actually felt annoyed by how ridiculous of an affect I thought it was. But, after 2 cancers I am pretty attune to my body and, well, I kind of knew something wasn’t right. So I called my Dr. and set up an appointment — At first glance, I looked and felt (for the most part) fine. So I was given an inhaler for a week or so. It just so happened I had my annual physical scheduled for 2 weeks from that point. But the Nurse Practitioner said if it isn’t better in a week, call.

Needless to say I called. I went for a chest x-ray, they thought maybe it was walking pneumonia. To double check they sent me for a CT Scan – with contrast. Once they mentioned that – I knew where I was headed – sort of. So I need to digress for a second and talk about my Dr. He is about my age – and I have known him for almost 20 years. He is funny and unflappable. He was also my parents Dr. So we really have a history. Two weeks earlier he learned (from my husband) that my Mom had passed away 6 months before (she was living in Florida at the time). So on this day, I decided to great him with the outcome before he could tell me. He walked into the room where my husband and I were waiting – and I blurted out “So tell me am I going to meet my mother soon?” I totally shocked him – I knew and I knew he knew that I was not going to be coddled. I want to know what I am fighting — that way I can prepare myself for battle totally and appropriately. Anyway, the next series of events was quite the rollercoaster.

The scans showed a mass dead in the center of my mediastinum – my chest cavity. The immediate diagnosis was Thymic Cancer and it was a pretty severe diagnosis. I read about it – and never lost hope but the reading wasn’t so great. But I continued to look for the hope. When the biopsy results came back my Oncologist – Sarah Sadan – said – “you are an enigma” . While everything about your disease points one way – your test results point another. It turns out I have typical Lung Cancer. Instead of the mass growing inward into my lung (like most do) mine grew outward from the lung wall into the chest cavity. The positives here are many. They have made many strides in treating lung cancer’s – new therapies, new drugs, which gives me new hopes for a cure. Lung Cancer is not a walk in the park but it is better than what was first thought – and with all of this what isn’t factored in is me.

I am not willing to look at a negative outcome. I have learned that my attitude, my drive, my desire and fight is my Superpower! Today is day one of the new blog, it is day 60 of this battle. Over the next few months please follow along with me — 4 weeks ago at the Oprah 2020 Vision Tour, I learned so much — She gifted us with an affirmation – I CAN, I WILL, WATCH ME – that is my purpose right now! SO all of you WATCH ME! CAUSE I AM HERE FOR THE LONG HAUL!!!!!!!!!

More to follow – xoxo Carol @funnycancermom