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Cancer & the Coronavirus Chronicles

This is no laughing matter, oooooor is it?  Let me think, cause it’s bad enough we have cancer, now we have to worry about getting Coronavirus.  We I’ll I am here to tell you – YOU ARE NOT ALONE- even though technically we should be.

I live in a suburb of NYC – and I began to self-isolate (work from home) on Thursday of last week.  Our kids are still in Florida – Tampa to be exact – because we think it is still safer for them to be there than it is here.  So, it is just my husband and I; oh and, Nelly the Tibetan Terrier.  (Full Disclosure – she’s my favorite).  For those that have worked from home before, I give you credit – because it doesn’t really play to my skillset – or my ADD – I am working on new ways to sit still long enough to complete 1 email.  Most people sit in a quiet area – away from distractions….I crave them.; distractions that is. Take this morning for example – I stumbled upon a few funny “corona” related posts – so mid email to my boss, I had to stop and send them out to friends.  Why? You may wonder….Above else – keeping sprits up during this crisis is key, it’s kind of what I do.…I always like to make sure everyone else is ok.

Let me share a few things that I saw online that made me laugh:

From a Mom in my town…
When people started hoarding Toilet Paper
Putting a positive spin on being home!

Now, let me get to my kids for a moment.  Matthew and Alissa are the loves of my life – they are also the reason I went gray at 38.  Well that is a total lie, I went gray after I lost my hair the last time I had cancer.  My hair came in a pretty cool silver so I kept it – but for the purpose of this blog – they are the cause!!!!!   As I mentioned they are both in Florida.  They are Juniors at the University of Tampa.  Yes, I have twins.  And double the fun doesn’t really apply in the Coronavirus Era.  More like double the Angst.  Both live in off campus housing; and no, not together because why should they make it easy on their Mother.  Frankly, having them there has both pros and cons. 

I miss them terribly.  In a crisis – I just want to have them close so I can smother them and mother them and most importantly bother them. All skills necessary and required! Does that make me sound like “one of those” mothers. AAAAH, maybe but but I say Nay Nay my friends – I don’t sound like one of them…I am them one of them! – But my kids understand me, and love me, and put up with all my “schtick”. Recently, because they are there and not here, under foot, complaining all day that “they are bored and there is nothing to do,” I miss them even more. Mainly because of my neurotic belief that they wouldn’t take the necessary precautions that my immune compromised status demands.  Six one way half a dozen the other – as my Dad used to say.  I admit that sometimes I think my kids don’t get it….but then my friends (other mothers of 20 year old’s) remind me – It’s not just my kids – Basically – being 20 means that a portion of your brain is dumb and/or idiotic….And just like that I feel a bit better.  See positive spin – The “it’s not my kids it’s all kids” scenario makes me feel better – as a mom and as a shut in cancer patient…..

Now that obsessing about my kids and what they are doing in Florida has taken up a few hours of my Sunday, I will have to focus on what I can do to fill the remaining hours.  We found Boggle in the basement, along with Othello, Scrabble and 5 different 500-piece puzzles.   So, activity wise, I am okay. Then I saw that The Zac Brown Band is giving a free concert Instagram Live at 8pm; At 7 pm Broadway.com has a live show and at 5:30 David Foster and Katherine McPhee have something online.  Afterwards I got a few texts from my friends laughing about what they accomplished today:  One cleaned the drain in her dishwasher and another cleaned out closets and cabinets.  I was inspired.  I am going to be productive. And then I stopped. I thought about it and realized – if I do that today, what will I do tomorrow?

So here is my take away for today:  This has to be the weirdest and scariest time of my generation.  I am somewhat proud by my calm.  (Full disclosure I did have a wee freak out last Thursday). But I guess having Lung Cancer and self-isolating at home I have to choose where to put my energy.  Frankly, I prefer to put it into finding funny things every day.  Finding the one thing or few things that make me laugh.  Finding a reason to say – “Today is going to be a good day” – or as good a day as it can be without leaving the house.  Knowing that this Will Be OK in time!  And believing that even with all the negative – I can and will find something funny that will truly brighten my day and then share it with my friends, family and followers; which will, in turn, brighten their day.

So, I end today’s blog with something I hope will make you smile – I know I do every time I look at her!

Nelly the Tibetan Terrier

Be safe, stay in, breathe deep and smile brightly, and believe that soon Corona will once again be synonymous with really mediocre beer!

Carol. @funnycancermom

And then Oprah said…

First the Virtual meet and greet!

Have you ever noticed that Oprah has become synonymous with “great things”. I can’t even say her name with out an emphasis on every letter — it’s OOOOPRAAAHHHH!. She is OOOOPRAHHHHH! And She truly is a force of positive energy, a beacon of light, and a genuine promoter of purpose, respect, resilience and self-worth. I felt it first hand. Awhile back my sister-in-law asked me if I wanted to come to the Oprah 2020 Vision Tour at the Barclay Center. I said “sure!” not really understanding exactly what it was. I learned Michelle Obama was going to speak and there were going to be a lot of conversations about health and wellness, I was excited. I was able to bring my daughter – Alissa – with me. She is a Jr. in college – studying entrepreneurship, with a focus on the health and wellness area. And, even more, it was a great excuse to have a fun Mommy-Daughter weekend.

We woke at around 6:30 on Saturday February 8, and got ready for the day. Excited, but still unsure of what it would bring — we were both just happy to share this day. This was event was the 3rd in a 9 tour engagement across the country. I had not been watching the news feeds about the prior events because I didn’t want to spoil any surprise that might come along with the day — we wanted to experience it organically… (ohhh how groovy that sounds!). I did get small glimpses from my sister-in-laws feed, as to the crowd capacity and star power involved. She (my sister-in-law Mindy) is the one who gifted Alissa and I these tickets and this access, and just a brief spoiler alert — I couldn’t be more thankful. And it really was a gift of a day.

We arrived at our parking lot at bout 8:35 am — and I must say the open and positive spirit was not being felt by some of the people on line for the lot. The poor attendant was solo and women were screaming at him. “I need you to take my car – I want to see OOOOPRRRAAAH” one woman ranted at the man. Alissa and I just felt awful. We were at the beginning of the line, but just to quell some of the screaming we let a few cars go ahead of us — and then gave the attendant a nice tip – it just felt like it waste right spirit to start the day off with…..Then Alissa and I pranced arm in arm — excited and anticipatory — to the arena. Every step brought more excitement.

As we walked, tickets in hand, the security guards kept directing us to different gates. It was kind of exciting. All of a sudden we arrived at the Diamond Concierge Gate — EWWWWWW Fancy we thought – with glee and a giggle! We wee given bands and big ticket necklaces — we were VIP! Which I knew but didn’t really know what it meant for this kind of event. Alissa and I went in feeling pretty special, and sopped everything up that was going on. We went walking around all the booths – we took pictures with the step and repeat Oprah and weaved through all of the virtual exhibit. We took it all in and really experienced the ever growing excitement from everyone who passed by….The energy was electric — I am not sure I have ever felt anything like it. We moved inside as the day was about to begin. We arrived at our seats and I was ecstatic. I was in a section with many people I knew and loved — more friends of my sister-in-law but also friends of mine. I was thrilled that we would have all these people to share this experience with. This was all keeping my mind off of something that was weighing heavy on me all week and I would not allow to seep in or disturb the day. It was a brilliant distraction.

From the moment the lights went down at 9 am to the moment the went up at 4:00 pm – I held my breathe. I was not expecting to be as enraptured, as emotional, as touched and as moved by what Alissa and I (and 15.000 others) were being drawn into. We were learning, we were experiencing, we were dancing, we were laughing, we were crying and we were transforming individually and communally. I can only classify it as ‘out as other worldly. Oprah spoke and we laughed, Oprah talked and we cried, Oprah regalled us with stories of her life and stories she learned — and we lapped up everything. There were moments (many moments actually) tthat brought to tears to our eyes. WHO WOULD OF THUNK IT TO BE TRUE –! There was Daybreaker (a sober rave group – and please don’t ask me what that means cause I have not a clue) lead by a couple with names like Radha and Brimer – of course. They were awesome. Then there was Julianne Hough and her Kinrgy; Julian English and his meditation moment and others. What a day – It truly primed me – I was ready for what I was about to face in the coming months.

This day couldn’t have come at a more important moment. I am a positive individual. But my week had put some obstacles in fornt of me — Two weeks earlier, I was diangosed with cancer (Lung Cancer to be exact) – and I had been going through tests to determine exactly what type. I knew I had to remain positive, after all this is my 3rd time facing a cancer diagnosis. Scott (my husband) and I hadn’t told anyone anything yet- I wanted to know all of the facts first. During the week I had a biopsy – no results yet but they initially felt I had Thymic Cancer — I knew those odds so POSITIVITY was what I needed. This day, that My incredible sister-in- Law, Mindy, gifted me, was miraculous. I was uplifted and ready to fight — what ever I was about to face – I was energized to do so.

But that wasn’t even the best part of the day. At the end, Those that hadthe band on their wrist were brought to a room – and there in front of me was – none other than OOOOPPPPRAHHHH! Her light and grace so close….I was dumbstruck and happy — elated really. Her aura infectious and my day was made. I was given the opportunity to meet her. She hugged my daughter and I like we were friends for years. She thanked us for coming and asked if I got anything out of it….OOOOPPPRAAAH asked me for my opinion…..OPRAH, said to me, “thank you for coming” OPRAH thanked me….OOOOPPPPPPRRRAH…..I felt more in that day than I can put into words –. Mindy, you are someone I admire, adore and respect and this day has helped me face this battle I embark on now — Thank you….

By the end of the next week, I had talked about that days events over and over. My daughter, who was back in Florida, and I rehashed everything all week as well. The next week when I had to let my family know about my health – I drew from the lessons I had learned, and presented my Lung Cancer Diagnosis with the optimistic flare – I believe to be my path towards beating this diagnosis. My Husband, son and daughter have been incredible, they were able to join me for my first chemo treatment – and they can be with me virtually, going forward if they wish. Corona (not th Beer) fear stops me from bringing in friends when I sit for treatment. — My friends, my support group of women who really are my rocks are unflinching and unwavering in their ability to bolster me up and make me laugh and feel as though nothing is going on. My brother and sister-in-law, who I revere in so many ways, are so hugely supportive and present when I need them, as are my Nieces who really just light up my life in a plethora of ways

But almost as important –My daughter and I met with OPRAH & and I talked with her – So, like I said, “when I was talking to Oprah” I got a sense of what the why she is OOOOPPPPRRAAAAHHH! And Oprah – I heard you – because of you Iknow that ICAN, I WILL, WATCH ME beat cancer – again!!!!!

Reality Meet and Greet